Living Together Bad for Women

Living together is becoming more popular than marriage. Over 60 percent of first marriages are now preceded by living together, compared to virtually none 50 years ago. Women are particularly hurt by the surge in living together relationships.

Cohabiting women are more likely to have to work outside the home, compared to married women. Married men actually help out more — up to eight hours a week — with household chores than live-in boyfriends. Cohabiting relationships are characterized by less commitment, greater infidelity, more domestic violence, more instability, and more emotional drama, compared to married relationships. All of this hurts women.

Studies have consistently shown that cohabitation makes for poorer marriages and higher rates of divorce. 70 percent of women who live with a partner and then marry that partner, will later divorce that partner. A women who lives with a man outside of marriage is 3 times more likely to suffer violence at the hands of her “partner” than a woman who is married.

Sexual relations before or outside marriage are wrong, no matter how much we care for the other person. It is wrong, first because it violates the command of God, and second because it perverts the sexual union so that it ceases to be the beautiful expression of love for ones lifetime mate. 1 Corinthians 6:16-18 – Fornication is wrong because it constitutes being “one flesh” with someone other than one’s lawful spouse. “One flesh” refers back to God’s original marriage plan, which places the sexual union in marriage (Gen. 2:24). Living together actually is an attack on Marriage.

Men and women differ greatly in their mate-selection strategies; cohabitation often has a different meaning for each sex. Women often see it as a step toward eventual marriage, while men regard it more as a sexual opportunity without the ties of long-term commitment. A woman’s willingness to live with a man outside of marriage encourages a man’s selfishness. What our grandmothers understood is often true: If a woman truly wants a man to marry her, wisdom dictates playing hard to get by saying no to living together.

Instead of a stepping-stone to a happy marriage, it is a stumbling block. And it hurts women.

Steven LeBlanc

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